with regrets

stolen from capitalawning.com

stolen from capitalawning.com

i’m kind of a 24/7 person.  i sleep maybe 5 or 6 hours a night, but they’re on a sliding schedule.  sometimes i’m up till dawn.  sometimes i catch a little nap in the evening and i’m up before midnight.  some nights i don’t sleep at all.   i’ve heard that it isn’t healthy to live like this, but i haven’t figured out another way.

so, since i was a teenager, i’ve spent lots of late nights and early mornings at coffee shops.

several years ago i had a friend named Bill who was the night shift cook at the rockwall waffle house.  Bill was single and kind of old and was a friendly sort of lonely.  he smoked a couple packs of marlboros a day and had a system that (he tried hard to convince me) helped him beat the odds and win more than he put in to the pick-3 lotto.  besides being a waffle house cook, bill was an occasional photographer and shot weddings and such.    and, the thing that helped cement our friendship, bill rode motorcycles.

i had a nice honda at the time and we’d go out riding in the morning after he got off work and before he went home to sleep.    then i’d come in a few nights later and he’d tell me all about his lotto system or we’d talk about motorcycles or cameras.

then Bill died.  there was some kind of suspicious circumstance about it.  he had a storage building where he worked on his bike and apparently they found him dead.  i heard about it about a week later.  if Bill had any family or friends, other than the folks he worked with, i hadn’t heard about them.  he might have mentioned a daughter once.

today would have been Bill’s birthday.  what makes me especially said is this.  i talked with him about all the churchy things i was doing and was always very open about my faith.  but i never actually shared that faith with him or invited him in.  he wasn’t anti-god, but i couldn’t tell that he had any relationship with god either.  i thought a lot about it when we hung out and was just waiting for the right time.


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